I miss it. The unconditional love. My late husband did not care about surface things. That I was overweight. That I was getting older. He accepted me. Loved me. Wanted me. Flaws and all.
He encouraged me to live, to sit in the sun and ground. He noticed when I needed to go to the beach and would take me to catch the sunrise. He scouted out places for us to explore—old, run-down places—because he knew I would love to photograph the falling signs and decrepit buildings.
He encouraged me wholeheartedly when I first started carnivore. He loved how light and carefree I quickly became. And, when I did not think I was losing weight, he noticed the differences.
He was thrilled when my hormones got back in check because we turned into teenagers again. It was so much fun!! I had no idea that we, as humans, are supposed to feel this good.
Not only did he go buy my steaks, but he made them for me. ALL THE TIME. I would come home from work and even if he wasn’t home, there would be a steak in the fridge waiting for me. I was so spoiled by his love.
Ultimately, carnivore brought us back together. Before changing to a meat-based diet, I was in bed ALL THE TIME. When I was at my worst, I could do one activity a day and then have to rest for the next two or three days. Being sick was so life-limiting.
This way of eating cleared my head; it took away depression and anxiety. I woke up happy. Did a million things – because I wanted to. And, I had sparkling energy.
All those years when I was sick, I thought it was him. I thought we needed to do shrooms to re-connect. That he would FINALLY open up and talk. IT WAS ME.
We only had four months of pure bliss before he died. I remember asking him, do you feel this? And he said, “it has always been here.” I miss him so much.
All those years I wasted on all those meds. Thinking they would help me FEEL better. Between the food I was eating and all those prescription meds, I was a hot, ANGRY mess.
Eating meat gave me freedom and peace. And, boy, did I appreciate and love my husband 1000% more because of it.
I wish with all my being that I had found this way of life years ago. Instead, I tried veganism, vegetarianism, keto, GFSFCF, and so many other “diets.” I knew nutrition played a role; I just had no idea how much and how much I needed to go back to nature.
Life is unpredictable. We were together 33 years, and then, one night, he was just gone. Four hours from when he said he wasn’t feeling well till he wasn’t here anymore. It is a mind-fuck.
But, in the end, I am VERY grateful we had four wonderful months together. So do all the things. Make a list of everything you want, need, and desire. And, go out and do everything. Many times, it is self-imposed rules that are holding us back.
Remove those beliefs. And, get healthy. Eat meat. Play in the sun. And most of all, LOVE HARD.
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